One day, not long after we had discovered our mutual attraction, we arranged that I would come and visit Alex at the range. When I arrived Alex was finishing with Dave. I don’t know whether it was my own paranoia or if I genuinely read subtle suspicion in Dave's eyes as ALex introduced me. Alex asked Dave how old he thought I was and when told “about nineteen or twenty” voiced his disbelief that anyone could tell that as he had been sure I was twenty-six. When Dave wished me a good lesson Alex responded that actually we were going for a drive today and led me away.
In the car Alex teased me about my sex drive as usual, showing obvious delight in my blushing admissions. We were headed to Elsternwick to see an apartment Alex was considering. In the car though, Alex checked his text messages and found that Natasha was in a bad mood, telling him he had to get out by the end of the week and demanding that he forfeit his entire share of the house they owned together to her, plus continue the mortgage repayments on it as child support. She would, of course, be keeping Ben. We arrived at the apartment before the real estate agent and sat in the car. Alex wouldn’t let me kiss him in case the real estate agent saw and it somehow got back to Natasha who would make things worse for him. I got out and used a swing in the park while he phoned her.
Yet again the apartment did not meet Alex's standards and he took a detour on the way back to the range to show me one of the houses he and Natasha had once lived in. We got stuck in a traffic jam caused by faulty boom gates along the Frankston train line and by the time he had dropped me home he had only fifteen minutes until his next lesson, which would take ten minutes to drive to. He was busting for the toilet so badly though that he jumped out of the car at my house to go. I had to wrestle and pull him away from seeing my highly embarrassing bedroom. We paused in the doorway of my house for a quick kiss goodbye before he was to dash for his lesson. Too quickly though we were pressed against the wall, kissing passionately, and soon his hand was inside my pants for the first time. I quickly changed from, “no, you have to go” to a whispered “stay, please stay”. In the next moment our pants were around our knees, my palms against the wall and with the door still open he was inside me. I closed the door so that the neighbours wouldn’t be subjected to my moaning and then, as fast as we had begun, he pulled out again, yanked his pants on, kissed me and backed out of the door saying “I’m sorry Lily, this is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do in my life”, and was gone.
Saturday 22 September 2007
Tuesday 18 September 2007
In-between bits
Even though when I first started writing this account of my involvement with Alex the idea was to torture Natasha with every detail of our emotional and sexual interactions it’s difficult to remember when everything took place. Firsts and lasts are always easy to remember, but in betweens get jumbled around so that events and conversations become blurred and broken.
Alex and I talked on the phone a lot and snatched moments with each other whenever we could. We would speak on the phone almost every day, often in rushed snatches and often many times in a day. If Alex didn’t have to rush away for his next lesson though, half an hour would often slip away undetected and I’d walk back into the cold office at Albert Park, where I was working on promotion for a new film, pink-faced as I realized how long I had been away for. We were so different but we got along famously. Alex had so many stories and I never tire of listening to a good story-teller. I’d ask questions and offer opinions or analyses and often Alex would pause a moment and then compliment my maturity. We would debate the value of money. Alex loved to tease me about my sex drive. I got used to him calling me Lily-pily, which I had never allowed anyone else to do, and then just when I’d gotten used to that he started calling me Lano sometimes too, which was even weirder sounding to my ears.
We have so many tiny stories that I never want to forget but am coming close to forgetting already. I can’t remember so much of the mood and context that transforms a series of events into a story. Nevertheless, a list of events is still worth preserving if it’s all you have.
In the week following our first kiss I fell sick with a cold. When I told Alex he offered to come around with medicine and flowers.“Do you like tulips? All girls like tulips.”He asked for my address but was detained that day and didn’t make it. He said he’d send the flowers. They slipped his mind and never arrived. I didn’t mind; they would have caused awkward questions from my family anyway and I had a warm glow purely from his enthusiasm.
Alex and I talked on the phone a lot and snatched moments with each other whenever we could. We would speak on the phone almost every day, often in rushed snatches and often many times in a day. If Alex didn’t have to rush away for his next lesson though, half an hour would often slip away undetected and I’d walk back into the cold office at Albert Park, where I was working on promotion for a new film, pink-faced as I realized how long I had been away for. We were so different but we got along famously. Alex had so many stories and I never tire of listening to a good story-teller. I’d ask questions and offer opinions or analyses and often Alex would pause a moment and then compliment my maturity. We would debate the value of money. Alex loved to tease me about my sex drive. I got used to him calling me Lily-pily, which I had never allowed anyone else to do, and then just when I’d gotten used to that he started calling me Lano sometimes too, which was even weirder sounding to my ears.
We have so many tiny stories that I never want to forget but am coming close to forgetting already. I can’t remember so much of the mood and context that transforms a series of events into a story. Nevertheless, a list of events is still worth preserving if it’s all you have.
In the week following our first kiss I fell sick with a cold. When I told Alex he offered to come around with medicine and flowers.“Do you like tulips? All girls like tulips.”He asked for my address but was detained that day and didn’t make it. He said he’d send the flowers. They slipped his mind and never arrived. I didn’t mind; they would have caused awkward questions from my family anyway and I had a warm glow purely from his enthusiasm.
Monday 17 September 2007
Sunday
On Friday and Saturday we spoke on the phone and while I have no clue what we talked about, I remember that I was amazed at how easy it was. There was no awkwardness to our conversations and it was so obvious that neither of us was interested in playing games or manipulating each other, creating false expectations or images. We chatted easily and without nerves or tension. On Sunday he asked if I would come and visit him at the range for a while. With great difficulty I concocted an excuse to borrow my parents’ car and drive down to see him.
As expected, our established pattern of leaping on each other continued. Frustrated as I still had my period and wanting to take things a little further to ensure his continued interest and to maintain a trend of progress in our (for want of a better word) relationship, I decided to go down on him. [Note to self: Although it was fine with this man on this occasion, this is a TERRIBLE attitude towards sexual acts and will lead to you getting used.] He asked why I wouldn’t let him touch me and when I pressed my face into his shoulder in embarrassment he guessed that I had my period.
“You poor little bastard.”
He said that sentence so many times and with so much affection over the next few weeks.
That day he showed me more of the houses that he was looking at moving into, and told me of his dream to become a billionaire, and about his views on the value of money.
“Money is like air”, he said, “think about it, what would you do without money? You couldn’t live. You have to have money, it’s the most important thing.”
Our differences, not just in age and circumstances, but also in personality and values, started to show. I think it may also have been the first time he told me a little about Natasha, about his dyslexia, and briefly about his poor roots in Wangaratta.
At some point that afternoon Greg called Alex. Alex insisted that I speak to him so I took the phone awkwardly and apologized to Greg for the last time we had spoken while I was still working at the gym. I had called him and before I could get a word out had coughed in his ear as I had been very sick. As he had done on the phone once previously Greg again jokingly warned me to stay away from Alex as he was a sex maniac.
As expected, our established pattern of leaping on each other continued. Frustrated as I still had my period and wanting to take things a little further to ensure his continued interest and to maintain a trend of progress in our (for want of a better word) relationship, I decided to go down on him. [Note to self: Although it was fine with this man on this occasion, this is a TERRIBLE attitude towards sexual acts and will lead to you getting used.] He asked why I wouldn’t let him touch me and when I pressed my face into his shoulder in embarrassment he guessed that I had my period.
“You poor little bastard.”
He said that sentence so many times and with so much affection over the next few weeks.
That day he showed me more of the houses that he was looking at moving into, and told me of his dream to become a billionaire, and about his views on the value of money.
“Money is like air”, he said, “think about it, what would you do without money? You couldn’t live. You have to have money, it’s the most important thing.”
Our differences, not just in age and circumstances, but also in personality and values, started to show. I think it may also have been the first time he told me a little about Natasha, about his dyslexia, and briefly about his poor roots in Wangaratta.
At some point that afternoon Greg called Alex. Alex insisted that I speak to him so I took the phone awkwardly and apologized to Greg for the last time we had spoken while I was still working at the gym. I had called him and before I could get a word out had coughed in his ear as I had been very sick. As he had done on the phone once previously Greg again jokingly warned me to stay away from Alex as he was a sex maniac.
Sunday 16 September 2007
Thursday
Written 15/9/07.
A couple of months have somehow passed, so I’m not as clear on the details of everything that happened between us as I would have been had I continued to write about it after my first attempt on 18/8/07, but I think it is still worth writing down. Who knows what it can be used for one day? Perhaps not revenge and punishment as were my original intentions - hopefully I will never feel such anger and hate again. The whole situation has been so soap opera-like; perhaps I will create a television series one day.
After our first kiss – or rather kisses – I was on top of the world. For the first few minutes as they had been happening I was worried about Alex's involvement with Natasha. One of my determined sentiments in my initial personal battle about whether to go for the golf lesson after I phoned him for the first time was that I was absolutely not interested in being a home-wrecker. I didn’t want a broken relationship on my conscience and I wanted to combat a trend I had spotted in myself – a trend of having too much interest in men who were already very much attached. So, in the first few minutes I pulled away from Alex a couple of times, saying, “What about Natasha?”, and, “I can’t, you’re still involved!” His response to this was to ignore them and kiss me more; in fact when I reminded him a while later of my protestations he had completely forgotten them. The protestations didn’t last though. He had told me the relationship was over and I was more than happy to believe it and think that if it wasn’t then that was his concern and nothing to do with me.
The following day, a Thursday, we spoke on the phone briefly. He said he’d love to see me sooner rather than later. That afternoon I needed to pop into the gym to pick up some money from the staff to buy a going-away present for a girl who had resigned. While I was there I text messaged Alex to say that if he really meant sooner rather than later I could come down to the driving range and see him. He called me immediately to say that he had fifteen minutes spare between his last lesson and going out for dinner with a client. Without waiting for the invitation I knew was coming I said I’d see him in five minutes and dashed out of the gym with barely a word of goodbye.
A couple of minutes later I knocked nervously on the teaching shed door. Alex opened it immediately and instantly we wrapped around each other once more. We kissed like two people who had been daydreaming of exactly that all day long. Alex's hands roamed further over my body and we pulled each other around the room in frustration, wanting to take things further but recognizing the impropriety. I had my period and had to slap and push his hands away each time he tried to explore in more detail, but I offered no explanation other than a cheekily evasive smile. He could lift me so easily, wrap my legs around him and hold me there or push me up against the door. It turned me on so much, thinking of the things I wished we were doing. Every few minutes we’d force each other to stop so we could get out a quick sentence before pulling each other close again. “Alex, you have to go, you’re so late!”, or “Sorry buddy, I really gotta go”, or “I can’t believe you’re only nineteen, don’t you think I’m old?” After thirty-five minutes instead of the ten that we should have had, we finally made it out the door.
“I wish you could come with us to dinner but these people know Natasha.”
I couldn’t believe he would have been willing to introduce me to his friends, I had been sure he must be embarrassed about his involvement with a nineteen year old.
“Aren’t you two over though?”
“Yeah but she’s not really happy about it and if she knew about you she’d never let me see Ben again.”
Two meters later though we were around the corner of the teaching shed and locked together again. As I slapped his hand away yet again he said, “Hey Lily, you’re not a virgin are you?” I giggled and said no and “Why, do I act like one?”.
“Oh good, I was just making sure.”
When we finally parted and I was making my way down the grassy slope towards the car park I only just resisted the urge to dash up to the gap between the teaching shed and wind break and grab and kiss him as he walked past. As I looked at the gap his face appeared at it with his excited-little-boy grin on, waving to me.
A couple of months have somehow passed, so I’m not as clear on the details of everything that happened between us as I would have been had I continued to write about it after my first attempt on 18/8/07, but I think it is still worth writing down. Who knows what it can be used for one day? Perhaps not revenge and punishment as were my original intentions - hopefully I will never feel such anger and hate again. The whole situation has been so soap opera-like; perhaps I will create a television series one day.
After our first kiss – or rather kisses – I was on top of the world. For the first few minutes as they had been happening I was worried about Alex's involvement with Natasha. One of my determined sentiments in my initial personal battle about whether to go for the golf lesson after I phoned him for the first time was that I was absolutely not interested in being a home-wrecker. I didn’t want a broken relationship on my conscience and I wanted to combat a trend I had spotted in myself – a trend of having too much interest in men who were already very much attached. So, in the first few minutes I pulled away from Alex a couple of times, saying, “What about Natasha?”, and, “I can’t, you’re still involved!” His response to this was to ignore them and kiss me more; in fact when I reminded him a while later of my protestations he had completely forgotten them. The protestations didn’t last though. He had told me the relationship was over and I was more than happy to believe it and think that if it wasn’t then that was his concern and nothing to do with me.
The following day, a Thursday, we spoke on the phone briefly. He said he’d love to see me sooner rather than later. That afternoon I needed to pop into the gym to pick up some money from the staff to buy a going-away present for a girl who had resigned. While I was there I text messaged Alex to say that if he really meant sooner rather than later I could come down to the driving range and see him. He called me immediately to say that he had fifteen minutes spare between his last lesson and going out for dinner with a client. Without waiting for the invitation I knew was coming I said I’d see him in five minutes and dashed out of the gym with barely a word of goodbye.
A couple of minutes later I knocked nervously on the teaching shed door. Alex opened it immediately and instantly we wrapped around each other once more. We kissed like two people who had been daydreaming of exactly that all day long. Alex's hands roamed further over my body and we pulled each other around the room in frustration, wanting to take things further but recognizing the impropriety. I had my period and had to slap and push his hands away each time he tried to explore in more detail, but I offered no explanation other than a cheekily evasive smile. He could lift me so easily, wrap my legs around him and hold me there or push me up against the door. It turned me on so much, thinking of the things I wished we were doing. Every few minutes we’d force each other to stop so we could get out a quick sentence before pulling each other close again. “Alex, you have to go, you’re so late!”, or “Sorry buddy, I really gotta go”, or “I can’t believe you’re only nineteen, don’t you think I’m old?” After thirty-five minutes instead of the ten that we should have had, we finally made it out the door.
“I wish you could come with us to dinner but these people know Natasha.”
I couldn’t believe he would have been willing to introduce me to his friends, I had been sure he must be embarrassed about his involvement with a nineteen year old.
“Aren’t you two over though?”
“Yeah but she’s not really happy about it and if she knew about you she’d never let me see Ben again.”
Two meters later though we were around the corner of the teaching shed and locked together again. As I slapped his hand away yet again he said, “Hey Lily, you’re not a virgin are you?” I giggled and said no and “Why, do I act like one?”.
“Oh good, I was just making sure.”
When we finally parted and I was making my way down the grassy slope towards the car park I only just resisted the urge to dash up to the gap between the teaching shed and wind break and grab and kiss him as he walked past. As I looked at the gap his face appeared at it with his excited-little-boy grin on, waving to me.
Second attempt
I have a blog. I had forgotten I had a blog. And now, after much fussing around trying to figure out what my username for the blog was I am here. I've failed so far in a couple of my New Year's resolutions (see previous post of nine and half months ago) but the year is not over yet; it's not too late. I will now attempt once again, to keep a blog.
The following is an email that I wrote but did not send on Saturday the 18th of August this year. Names have been changed.
No wonder Natasha went so insane after you guys broke up. If you were half as closed-up, heartless and disrespectful to her as you are being to me then that would be more than enough to push a woman in love over the edge. Using your son as bait to get what you want though isn't just insane, it's inhumane.
Anyway, since apparently you already know everything Natasha, I'm sure neither of you will object to giving me a little space to reflect on the events of the past month or so, just for closure.
Let's see, how did this all happen?
The first time I met Alex was at the gym. He came in off the street and charmed me instantly. He was smiling and friendly and good-looking. He was kind and helpful and respectful. We chatted; he showed an interest in me without being sleazy or coming on to me at all. Then he called you, Natasha, and even though you said you didn't want him to, he advised me to tell people in the media that I'd worked with you when I was looking for jobs. He gave me a lot of referrals to help my business, even though he told me later that when he'd first walked into the gym he was absolutely determined not to put anyone's name down. What changed his mind? When he first saw me he thought "this girl is gooorgeous!", and then I smiled at him. He says he would have done anything I asked him to that day. Before he left Alex gave me his card and suggested I come down to the range for a free golf lesson. I was hesitant; I couldn't decide whether he was now coming onto me or just wanted to persuade me to regularly pay him for golf tuition. As I walked away he checked out my arse and loved what he saw.
Over the next few weeks Alex came to the gym and I called his friends to see if they'd go for gym memberships. There were a few classic characters in the bunch and they'd tell Alex I had called, or Alex would come in and ask how I was going with them. Rob chatted for ages and one of the things he told me was that Alex had said I would be intimidated by him. I was so offended that he went on to explain that Alex thought I was stunning and that he, Rob, was intimidated by attractive women. Greg warned me more than once that Alex was a sex maniac. Alex hoped he'd see me every time he came in. He asked about his friends, urged me again to say that I had worked with Natasha, reminded me that I was supposed to come down for a free golf lesson, and suggested that we train together in the gym sometime. I started to get a crush on him and I checked up in the computer system to see how old he was. I was so disappointed to find that he was 28, but still asked various people over the course of a few weeks, "how old is the oldest you'd date? How old do you think is too old for me?"
I finished working at the gym and went on holidays to Queensland but every few days I would think, "I should go in for that golf lesson." I was so nervous but managed to convince myself, "If you want something badly and try to get it then you might fail, but if you don't try to get it then you've failed already." I wanted something. A few days after returning from holidays I decided I would definitely call him. A few days after that I had finally gotten up the guts to do so.
I was terrified he wouldn't remember me. I was so nervous I even rehearsed what I was going to say out loud. When I called he knew who it was straight away, and even kept me on the phone for 10 minutes. We made a booking for the following day; a Thursday. During the phone call though he said something that led me to believe he had a girlfriend. My heart sank and my stomach twisted. Over the next 24 hours I was torn between, "just go and get it over and done with then forget about him", and "stay away. Think of a reason to cancel. He has a girlfriend and he's too old for you". (I'm 19 by the way Natasha; in case you're struggling with the math, that's literally half your age. Don't you think that's hilarious?) I eventually decided that I would go, have my one free golf lesson and enjoy being in the company of someone so good-looking, interesting, funny and kind, and then definitely refuse to have any more golf lessons.
I walked down to the driving range after a long chat with Andrew at the gym. On my way there Alex called to apologise as he was running a few minutes late and ask that I wait for him in the car park instead of going up to the clubhouse. Immediately I doubted my decision again and considered leaving. When he arrived though he was perfectly unsuspicious and explained that he hadn’t wanted me to go up and ask for him as a man he didn’t get along with, Trevor, was working and would probably try to charge me for the lesson and get him into trouble for giving me a freebie. During the lesson Alex was everything I had expected him to be and more. He was an excellent, patient coach without being too serious. We spent most of the time chatting and only a little while hitting golf balls. He told me that his relationship with Natasha was essentially over and that he was looking for a place to move out to. My heart skipped a beat and I became nervous and slightly hopeful again. He told me he had a two year old son, and went on about how “hot” Ben is. He was complimentary of everything about me, complimenting my golf swing, my clothes, my maturity and my attitude. I could barely handle so many compliments! I told him about Rob telling me that Alex had said I was intimidating. Alex’s answer began with, “How should I say this? You’re a very very attractive young woman”. When I said that the last time I’d swung a golf club was in year 10, Alex asked how old I was now. Initially he didn’t believe me when I told him I was 19; he had been so convinced I was 26 and must have a degree that he even suggested that I must have lied about my age when we first met. I pretended to be surprised that he was 28.
At the end of the lesson, which had lasted an hour and a half even though I had only booked him for half an hour, Alex asked me what was next in my golf career. I had been so determined not to agree to another lesson, but I’d also enjoyed it so much that I at least agreed to think about it. He was being so friendly after all, and the offer to continue to coach me for free was so generous that I couldn’t say no!
That weekend, you, Alex and Natasha, had sex and used the withdrawal method. I wonder who Alex was really thinking about while he was inside you.
On Monday I text messaged Alex and agreed to another lesson, and on Wednesday afternoon I arrived at the range. The first thing Alex did was to show me some houses on the internet that he was considering moving into, and ask my opinion. Then he showed me an adorable video of Ben at the range, hitting a golf ball with a club and looking more like a hockey player than golfer. The pride on Alex’s face and in his voice whenever he talked about Ben absolutely blew me away. He let me hit some golf balls and then asked if I would come with him to Cheltenham to pick up some golf clubs for a client. I reluctantly agreed, wondering what was going on. He offered to let me drive his BMW; I declined, but probably should have accepted because on the way, as we were turning out of the Cheltenham station car park into Charman Rd, we very nearly had a serious accident. A train was coming and the boom gates were coming down. Not realizing their position, Alex turned the car out into the road and positioned it directly under the heavy boom gate. In surprise I yelled, “what are you doing?!” and Alex moved the car forward just enough and just in time for the boom gate to come down and bounce on the back window of the car instead of caving in the roof. Fortunately the train was on the opposite track; if it had been on the track closest to us it would have taken out the front of the care and sent us spinning.
When we got to the golf shop the owner was just about to pop out so we waited for his return in a café down the street called Café Dell Amore. Sensing that I was still a little shaken from the car ride, Alex took advantage of the situation and hugged me for the first time. When for some reason I mentioned that I’d had Chinese food for lunch that day Alex said, “So when all this stuff with Natasha blows over, if I were take you out for Chinese food would you like that?” I said, “How about you wait until things do blow over with Natasha before asking questions like that”. The woman in the café thought we were together and asked Alex where he’d found this beautiful girl as we were leaving.
Golf clubs picked up, I drove us back to the range where we hit some balls. Alex showed me a photo of Ben from his wallet. At some point during the afternoon I felt bad for shutting him down and confessed that when things blew over with Natasha I would like to go out for Chinese food very much. When finally I insisted that it was time for me to go home we shook hands and I started to move away. It was the wrong way to finish the afternoon and we both knew it. Alex asked if I’d like another hug and with only a little hesitation I said yes, expecting him to hug me right there and then. Instead he led me into the teaching shed. I put my bag on the floor, we looked at each other for a brief second then very very slowly put our arms around one another. As we embraced, I felt a very soft kiss on my neck. With breathing shallow and tense we turned our faces to one another and kissed passionately.
Our bodies melted together smoothly and perfectly and the kisses started slow and deep and built until they were feverish before returning to tender exploration of each other. My arms were snaked around his neck, his wrapped around my back pulling me close. Best of all though was the way he’d stop sometimes; the first time to say “you do know I’m 28 and have a two year old son don’t you?” and every other time just to look at me and smile like an excited little boy, to squeeze me with joy and then kiss me again.
To be continued.
The following is an email that I wrote but did not send on Saturday the 18th of August this year. Names have been changed.
No wonder Natasha went so insane after you guys broke up. If you were half as closed-up, heartless and disrespectful to her as you are being to me then that would be more than enough to push a woman in love over the edge. Using your son as bait to get what you want though isn't just insane, it's inhumane.
Anyway, since apparently you already know everything Natasha, I'm sure neither of you will object to giving me a little space to reflect on the events of the past month or so, just for closure.
Let's see, how did this all happen?
The first time I met Alex was at the gym. He came in off the street and charmed me instantly. He was smiling and friendly and good-looking. He was kind and helpful and respectful. We chatted; he showed an interest in me without being sleazy or coming on to me at all. Then he called you, Natasha, and even though you said you didn't want him to, he advised me to tell people in the media that I'd worked with you when I was looking for jobs. He gave me a lot of referrals to help my business, even though he told me later that when he'd first walked into the gym he was absolutely determined not to put anyone's name down. What changed his mind? When he first saw me he thought "this girl is gooorgeous!", and then I smiled at him. He says he would have done anything I asked him to that day. Before he left Alex gave me his card and suggested I come down to the range for a free golf lesson. I was hesitant; I couldn't decide whether he was now coming onto me or just wanted to persuade me to regularly pay him for golf tuition. As I walked away he checked out my arse and loved what he saw.
Over the next few weeks Alex came to the gym and I called his friends to see if they'd go for gym memberships. There were a few classic characters in the bunch and they'd tell Alex I had called, or Alex would come in and ask how I was going with them. Rob chatted for ages and one of the things he told me was that Alex had said I would be intimidated by him. I was so offended that he went on to explain that Alex thought I was stunning and that he, Rob, was intimidated by attractive women. Greg warned me more than once that Alex was a sex maniac. Alex hoped he'd see me every time he came in. He asked about his friends, urged me again to say that I had worked with Natasha, reminded me that I was supposed to come down for a free golf lesson, and suggested that we train together in the gym sometime. I started to get a crush on him and I checked up in the computer system to see how old he was. I was so disappointed to find that he was 28, but still asked various people over the course of a few weeks, "how old is the oldest you'd date? How old do you think is too old for me?"
I finished working at the gym and went on holidays to Queensland but every few days I would think, "I should go in for that golf lesson." I was so nervous but managed to convince myself, "If you want something badly and try to get it then you might fail, but if you don't try to get it then you've failed already." I wanted something. A few days after returning from holidays I decided I would definitely call him. A few days after that I had finally gotten up the guts to do so.
I was terrified he wouldn't remember me. I was so nervous I even rehearsed what I was going to say out loud. When I called he knew who it was straight away, and even kept me on the phone for 10 minutes. We made a booking for the following day; a Thursday. During the phone call though he said something that led me to believe he had a girlfriend. My heart sank and my stomach twisted. Over the next 24 hours I was torn between, "just go and get it over and done with then forget about him", and "stay away. Think of a reason to cancel. He has a girlfriend and he's too old for you". (I'm 19 by the way Natasha; in case you're struggling with the math, that's literally half your age. Don't you think that's hilarious?) I eventually decided that I would go, have my one free golf lesson and enjoy being in the company of someone so good-looking, interesting, funny and kind, and then definitely refuse to have any more golf lessons.
I walked down to the driving range after a long chat with Andrew at the gym. On my way there Alex called to apologise as he was running a few minutes late and ask that I wait for him in the car park instead of going up to the clubhouse. Immediately I doubted my decision again and considered leaving. When he arrived though he was perfectly unsuspicious and explained that he hadn’t wanted me to go up and ask for him as a man he didn’t get along with, Trevor, was working and would probably try to charge me for the lesson and get him into trouble for giving me a freebie. During the lesson Alex was everything I had expected him to be and more. He was an excellent, patient coach without being too serious. We spent most of the time chatting and only a little while hitting golf balls. He told me that his relationship with Natasha was essentially over and that he was looking for a place to move out to. My heart skipped a beat and I became nervous and slightly hopeful again. He told me he had a two year old son, and went on about how “hot” Ben is. He was complimentary of everything about me, complimenting my golf swing, my clothes, my maturity and my attitude. I could barely handle so many compliments! I told him about Rob telling me that Alex had said I was intimidating. Alex’s answer began with, “How should I say this? You’re a very very attractive young woman”. When I said that the last time I’d swung a golf club was in year 10, Alex asked how old I was now. Initially he didn’t believe me when I told him I was 19; he had been so convinced I was 26 and must have a degree that he even suggested that I must have lied about my age when we first met. I pretended to be surprised that he was 28.
At the end of the lesson, which had lasted an hour and a half even though I had only booked him for half an hour, Alex asked me what was next in my golf career. I had been so determined not to agree to another lesson, but I’d also enjoyed it so much that I at least agreed to think about it. He was being so friendly after all, and the offer to continue to coach me for free was so generous that I couldn’t say no!
That weekend, you, Alex and Natasha, had sex and used the withdrawal method. I wonder who Alex was really thinking about while he was inside you.
On Monday I text messaged Alex and agreed to another lesson, and on Wednesday afternoon I arrived at the range. The first thing Alex did was to show me some houses on the internet that he was considering moving into, and ask my opinion. Then he showed me an adorable video of Ben at the range, hitting a golf ball with a club and looking more like a hockey player than golfer. The pride on Alex’s face and in his voice whenever he talked about Ben absolutely blew me away. He let me hit some golf balls and then asked if I would come with him to Cheltenham to pick up some golf clubs for a client. I reluctantly agreed, wondering what was going on. He offered to let me drive his BMW; I declined, but probably should have accepted because on the way, as we were turning out of the Cheltenham station car park into Charman Rd, we very nearly had a serious accident. A train was coming and the boom gates were coming down. Not realizing their position, Alex turned the car out into the road and positioned it directly under the heavy boom gate. In surprise I yelled, “what are you doing?!” and Alex moved the car forward just enough and just in time for the boom gate to come down and bounce on the back window of the car instead of caving in the roof. Fortunately the train was on the opposite track; if it had been on the track closest to us it would have taken out the front of the care and sent us spinning.
When we got to the golf shop the owner was just about to pop out so we waited for his return in a café down the street called Café Dell Amore. Sensing that I was still a little shaken from the car ride, Alex took advantage of the situation and hugged me for the first time. When for some reason I mentioned that I’d had Chinese food for lunch that day Alex said, “So when all this stuff with Natasha blows over, if I were take you out for Chinese food would you like that?” I said, “How about you wait until things do blow over with Natasha before asking questions like that”. The woman in the café thought we were together and asked Alex where he’d found this beautiful girl as we were leaving.
Golf clubs picked up, I drove us back to the range where we hit some balls. Alex showed me a photo of Ben from his wallet. At some point during the afternoon I felt bad for shutting him down and confessed that when things blew over with Natasha I would like to go out for Chinese food very much. When finally I insisted that it was time for me to go home we shook hands and I started to move away. It was the wrong way to finish the afternoon and we both knew it. Alex asked if I’d like another hug and with only a little hesitation I said yes, expecting him to hug me right there and then. Instead he led me into the teaching shed. I put my bag on the floor, we looked at each other for a brief second then very very slowly put our arms around one another. As we embraced, I felt a very soft kiss on my neck. With breathing shallow and tense we turned our faces to one another and kissed passionately.
Our bodies melted together smoothly and perfectly and the kisses started slow and deep and built until they were feverish before returning to tender exploration of each other. My arms were snaked around his neck, his wrapped around my back pulling me close. Best of all though was the way he’d stop sometimes; the first time to say “you do know I’m 28 and have a two year old son don’t you?” and every other time just to look at me and smile like an excited little boy, to squeeze me with joy and then kiss me again.
To be continued.
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